ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
