shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
