what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
