My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
