It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am available for nakedness
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
