every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
