It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize