Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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