Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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