If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
