i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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