Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
