No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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