i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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