It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
