i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think my vagina is haunted
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
