I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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