Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
