time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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