Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Randomize
