for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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