Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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