Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I touched a dick in church today
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