Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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