She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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