Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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