Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
