so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
