? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
