don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
