i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
