I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
