So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
