To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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