you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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