id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize