another moral hangover. fuck.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
