i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Congratulations! We have a period
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
