Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
