The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just found a bag of teeth...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize