Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
