Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
