He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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