gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize