Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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