Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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