I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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