she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
