I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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