Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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