Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
