he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
