ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I wish there were birth control emojis
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
