every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
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